So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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