hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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