Cold hands, warm shart.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
