We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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