there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
