you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
