So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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