why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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