I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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