I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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