Nicole vs. Life
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
