When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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