I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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