If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
