i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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