I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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