I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
