this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
