my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
