Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
