OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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