Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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