i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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