We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize