Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
