It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As shirtless as possible
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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