11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my shit smells like andre
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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