The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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