I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
