i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
