im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
