I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
