A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
is that a dick in a sweater?
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