Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
