i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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