i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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