Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
