she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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