Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
