No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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