I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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