i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
