stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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