...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
