i think my mom watched the whole time
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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