I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
