I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
