btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
