love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
