mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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