Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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